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Thread: Little to no desire for serious relationships

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    Varian's Avatar AF 500 Club Member Senior Member
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    Default Little to no desire for serious relationships

    I'm kind of interested to know if anyone else feels the same way about this as I do. For the better part of the last 4 years (besides 6 months of wanting to be with someone I couldn't be with) I've had basically no desire to be in any kind of meaningful relationship with someone. I did try a few times, thinking that my attitude would change once I was in one, but it didn't, so those ended sooner rather than later. I really enjoy having close friendships however, and getting to know people really well, but dating just isn't my thing. Does anyone else experience the same thing or know of anyone else who does?

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    It's only because you hav'nt met her yet.

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    Varian's Avatar AF 500 Club Member Senior Member
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    Yeah, I can see how that could be the true, as that 6 months I referred to was after sleeping with a close friend of mine who was in a long term relationship, she said she was really into me, and I assumed she was going to break up with him. That ordeal however has only put me off relationships even more, so who knows.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Varian View Post
    I'm kind of interested to know if anyone else feels the same way about this as I do. For the better part of the last 4 years (besides 6 months of wanting to be with someone I couldn't be with) I've had basically no desire to be in any kind of meaningful relationship with someone. I did try a few times, thinking that my attitude would change once I was in one, but it didn't, so those ended sooner rather than later. I really enjoy having close friendships however, and getting to know people really well, but dating just isn't my thing. Does anyone else experience the same thing or know of anyone else who does?
    I am genuinely VERY happily single and have been this way for a few years. I am not going to lie: love it, love it, LOVE it!
    Zero interest/inclination/desire for any sort of "relationship" as such. I love my freedom and enjoy doing things I like to do (extensive travelling being one) without having to worry about someone else (or having to drag them along, as I really prefer to travel by myself). Like you, I enjoy having deep meaningful friendships and have quite a few very good friends: in NZ and several other countries
    Little to no desire for serious relationships
    Newton's 3rd law: for every action, there is an equal and opposite REaction

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    Quote Originally Posted by Varian View Post
    I'm kind of interested to know if anyone else feels the same way about this as I do. For the better part of the last 4 years (besides 6 months of wanting to be with someone I couldn't be with) I've had basically no desire to be in any kind of meaningful relationship with someone. I did try a few times, thinking that my attitude would change once I was in one, but it didn't, so those ended sooner rather than later. I really enjoy having close friendships however, and getting to know people really well, but dating just isn't my thing. Does anyone else experience the same thing or know of anyone else who does?
    Yes, I totally feel the same way. I'm not married to my career or anything (although it does take up a lot of my time). I just see what the couples around me are dealing with, and think "Why would I jump into that???".

    I know relationships are all about compromise. But I have seen too much sacrifice, for my liking.

  6. #6

    Cool

    your still young, still wanting to flip from flower to flower, but in time you could meet some one that changes your mind.
    a healthy relationship is great, and as you get older you will come to want someone special.
    One big tip, no mater how tempting, never Never screw around with some one who's married/ partnered,
    it doesn't work, and you will loose two friends !!
    And don't get addicted to WG sex, just an occasional pleasure is enough !?,

    Other than that, don't over analyse any of it, just enjoy your youth .....".lol

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    Varian's Avatar AF 500 Club Member Senior Member
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    I knew I couldn't be the only one
    I don't have anything against the idea of it really, it just doesn't appeal to me right now, and hasn't for the better part of my adult life.
    Re: screwing around cumingone, it seemed like a good idea at the time, but it's one of my biggest regrets, I'm lucky I didn't lose her as a friend but our friendship never really recovered from that.
    and yes, definitely set on just enjoying life right now haha

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    Quote Originally Posted by Varian View Post
    I knew I couldn't be the only one
    I don't have anything against the idea of it really, it just doesn't appeal to me right now, and hasn't for the better part of my adult life.
    Re: screwing around cumingone, it seemed like a good idea at the time, but it's one of my biggest regrets, I'm lucky I didn't lose her as a friend but our friendship never really recovered from that.
    and yes, definitely set on just enjoying life right now haha
    "You can never un ring the bell"

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    kelly's Avatar AF Millennium Member Senior Member
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    Its just easier being single. But then I dont have some incessant need to fill a void with affection and cuddles. Which is when you find people who cant handle NOT being in a relationship, which is as bizarre to me as they probably think being single by choice is.

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    I have been married since 24, was with ex since 19' only ever partner up till 34! He was first everything.
    I wondered what it would be like being single, but I became so reliant on him, as I grew up. Emotionally. And cos I lacked confidence in most things I got him to choose everything, etc.
    I loved him as a friend but never a lover. See that clearly now. I stayed cos I was scared of coping on my own. Four yrs ago I nearly did but didn't. The feeling of needing to became stronger, end of 2013 I did it. Felt like the biggest bitch but I needed to experience single life. Independence. I had hit 40 ( secret is out I was not really 33 lol) I didn't want to waste more time being somewhere I didn't feel right. Hard cos as a friend he means the world to me.
    I loved single life initially, but I was out dating straight away, ended up meeting a lot of guys I have now as good friends. They became fwb. So I was sorted. But my main fwb, whom I lived with got a girlfriend and that's when I realised I craved to feel loved and be with someone.
    Went back to ex, coz I felt so bad leaving, but this time round he saw we weren't right and now we are mutually over.
    I was going to enjoy my freedom this time, had my friends, my sex work was like many partners, lol, so no need for love of just one. But cupid decided otherwise and I met Rocco. Fell in love and am now happier than ever. He is everything I ever wanted.
    Sometimes love just comes along, sometimes it's fun being alone, what ever way bein true to yourself makes you happiest. So just be true to your feelings.
    Little to no desire for serious relationships

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